Friday, August 1, 2008

making there way

Hannah was beginning to fall apart. She wasn't sure if she could do this baby thing.

Yes, it was all so simple. She'd married Freddie right away on the Silver Coast near Lesbos. They were happy there. She was beginning to think that might be the only place they could be happy.

Now they were home and having to live with Spike. They so needed to have their own place. Perhaps that would have made a difference. It didn't help that Freddie was sneaking out after she'd fallen asleep.

She could only imagine what he was doing. She wanted him to be honest.

"Tell me!" She demanded.

"Its nothing. Really," He was upset that she didn't trust him. "I need a drink you know."

"Or something else?" She questioned.

"It was just the Black Cat." He shrugged. "Your brother works there you know, I'm just trying to get used to all this. Used to seeing him with that boyfriend of his." She could see he was hurt. "But I'm managing and I'm with you."

He kissed her troubles away then. And she so wanted to believe him. But she felt a little like throwing up when she thought of him off with someone else and not her. She couldn't help it. After all she'd cut all ties with Nancy.

How was she supposed to act around her now? There was a time when they were so close and she thought they'd share everything together. Even child birth. But now it was a thick wall between them. Nancy wouldn't answer her phone calls. Wouldn't even look her way in the village.

It was an ache Hannah could hardly bare. What had they done? Didn't Freddie realise she relied on him more..quite possibly.

They so had to get in sync with this baby thing if it were ever going to work.

"Mum, says she wants to have a party for us since she wasn't there for the wedding," Hannah told Freddie after pulled her into his room and touched her so to send her almost into a deep sleep. "Maybe they'll help us find our place," she smiled.

"As long as we don't have to live with them."

"I thought you'd say as much."

"Well, we wouldn't be doing what we're doing right now with all your family around, now would we?" He fingered her and kissed her breast delicately since they were a bit raw these days.

She just nodded biting her bottom lip with satisfaction, but not completely until he kissed away the pang between her pubes. Hannah never thought she'd want something or someone so much in spite of being pregnant.

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