Monday, May 19, 2008

I don't want somebody to love me

Newt thought the tea cups might shatter when Ste came up on him. It didn't seem quite real. Being here with him in the kitchen. Ste muffled Newt with his hand over his mouth and told him to hush. He grabbed his hand and pulled him up the narrow stairs behind the pantry door.

So this was where the hidden rooms were. The servants quarters. Old dusty rooms. Rooms that only ghosts lived in now aside from Ste. Perhaps he wasn't a welcomed guest even here.

Once they were in Ste's room, it looked a bit pathetic. Not at all to Laleh's standards. The bare room. The small bed. Newt wasn't sure what to expect, other than his thud against the wall when Ste rammed his face into Newt's.

His lips cut into Newt's. There was a burn, perhaps a dim desire. He couldn't be sure. What if Ste kept him here against his will? Then he thought of all the times he came back to see Laleh. Was she any better than Ste? Really?

Newt took deep breathes struggling to keep up with Ste. He was sure it wasn't enough as Ste began to unbutton his jeans and unzip his pant. Ste caught his breath when he knew. He knew Newt was a stone for him. It even shocked Newt. Yet it didn't. He felt in limbo, and Ste would not let go.

"You said-" Newt started.

"I know. I did, but I can't." Ste squinted as if he were pain. Pain just for Newt as he slipped off Newt's dark t-shirt. "Just get undressed." Ste got undressed then.

They stared at each other in the raw. Newt didn't know what to do. There was the bed with the white duvet. Ste pulled back the sheets. "I'm really not going to hurt you, but I need you. I need you."

Newt swallowed the words. He wasn't sure if he felt tears or sweat around his eyes. He clinched his teeth to keep quiet. His heartbeat rang through his ears.

"What?" Newt thought he heard himself say.

"I want you to fuck me." Ste gave Newt a dead stare.

"You're bigger than me." Newt scratched the back his neck, pondering how this would work? He hadn't expected this, pressing his lips together.

"So. Just do it. Do it hard." Ste got on the bed first. Newt thought he might burst either into laughter or even worse, cum to soon. "It'll be our secret. And I know how you like secrets."

Newt slightly smiled. He guess he was up for it. But he wasn't sure if he'd be any good at it. What if he wasn't? Then what?

"Well, what are you waiting for?" Ste turned back.

"Just shut it! So I can get on with it." Newt said then climbed up, took his time. Why did his buttock have to be so lovely?

1 comment:

Cate said...

comes close to rape.