Put me on a plane and fly me to anywhere....
" A bit on the side," kept going over and over in John Paul's head. He remembered those very words from Craig. Now he wondered if Kieron thought the same of him. Definitely.
He left Kieron asleep in his bed. It really wasn't a good bed for two to get a rest in. But that was beside the point. He had to go.
He walked the streets for a while, not even sure where he was going. He felt bitter now. Funny, that was the last thing he expected. He thought he knew what he wanted with Kieron. It would never be possible. Kieron wasn't going to give up everything for him.
It would be best if John Paul faded away. Fade away. He only knew one place to go. And it wasn't on this block.
John Paul went back to Quintin's. He knew it was the right thing to do. Even if he took the long way to get there.
He hated himself for staying as long as he did with Kieron. He really couldn't take it anymore.
"Maybe we should think about a holiday soon." Quintin suggested over hot cakes and mugs of coffee.
"Holiday? How on earth could we?" His mum was in the slammer. There were his courses to revise. Exams to meet. "I couldn't."
"We could cycle across Europe," Quintin gave him a slap on the back and smiled. "Its not like we'd leave tomorrow. We could do it when classes are up. You and me. It would be hell of trip. Loads of laughs. Think of the places we'd see."
"Yeah, a holiday. It might take all summer. You think?" John Paul liked the idea, the more he thought about it.
"Absolutely." Quinten smiled back.
John Paul was famished, and Quinten was a fine cook only John Paul could hardly choke anything down. What would Kieron think when he awoke?
He felt such a traitor, but what was he to do? He could smell the spicy scent of Kieron still with him. John Paul stared at Quinten, wondering if he could notice.
"I should shower." John Paul was stumped for words. "Change, you know." His smile was weak. Maybe he'd have himself a good long cry in the shower. That should do it for him. At least for the moment.
He excused himself then to find the bathroom.
"I still didn't get my gear, did I?" He forgot.
"Not a problem, " Quintin said. "You can use my stuff as long as you like."
Quintin's kindness made him sad. He knew he didn't deserve it. John Paul ached wishing he didn't feel this way. How could he have let it happen like that with Kieron. He was sure it was over. Why wasn't it over?
He drew a shower. Hoping the heat of the steam and water would help, John Paul still felt angry. Angry at himself as he soaped up. He so much wanted to be clean, again.
How could he stop this now? He was sure he should be insane. All that he'd coped with with Craig before. This felt so much like the past catching up with him.
It felt so defeating, but there was Quintin to catch him. He knew he'd be there. He knew he'd want in. Quinten got in the shower with him, and it felt as is the day had begun when Quinten touched him. Finally, he might sleep for good this time. But first he kissed Quintin.