Monday, March 3, 2008

beyond the shackles

Nancy remembered how spurned she felt when she heard Zak calling her a lesbian while she was walking out on their date while Rhys was finishing off their wine. She guessed thats why she had kissed Jake so quickly that day after the date disaster.

Why had she done it? Why? Why had she fallen into all this with him? She hadn't meant for this to go so far. But it seemed destined now. And....and it was all wrong.

The timing had been off kilter with her and Hannah. It was not what she anticipated. There had been only few chances of sweet bliss with Hannah.

And now here she was in Hannah's arms who was telling her all about what Freddie had said while on the couch at Nancy's flat.

"Freddie," whispered Nancy. "Freddie knew about you and me?" It didn't seem possible. He never let on. "I thought he'd moved away by now. I haven't seen the bloke in ages."

"Fit as ever. And there's definitely more to him than meets the eye." Hannah touched Nancy's cheek then and she kissed her lips. She'd been crying. Nancy had cried.

"We have to be strong, from now on." Nancy promised.

"I don't know," Hannah sighed. "What can I do?"

"Stay with me." Nancy reached up and pulled her in more. "It'll be like sleepover every night." She then kissed her slowly, longingly with a french kiss. She'd never let Hannah go. Not this time.

Then Hannah pushed her back on the other side of the couch and kissed her back just with as much ease as if they had the whole night. Hannah laid across her and patted down Nancy's blouse while her chin rested on Nancy's shoulder.

"Won't people notice?" Hannah squinted. "Could we actually get away with it, Nancy?"

"Why not. Its a free country, isn't it?" Nancy's dark eyes stared at her.

"You've gotta point, " Hannah, sighed. "Mum, wouldn't even question it. She just wants you to be all right. We all want you to get away from Jake."

"Don't even mention his name." Nancy unbuttoned Hannah's blouse. "He's the last thing on my mind, right now. You are." She reached toward her and kissed her.

Nancy lifted the top over her, and Hannah looked down at Nancy. "Oh my God, am I hurting the baby?" Hannah slid herself toward Nancy's stomach and rested her head.

"You're fine. I'm not going to think about the baby right now." Nancy felt a tad awkward that she'd brought the baby up.

"No, you must'n. That baby is a part of you." Hannah's fingers slid across her stomach. She delicately lifted Nancy's top over her head and then kissed her belly button. Hannah smiled. "I'll talk to it."

"No you won't," laughed Nancy. "I"m not that far along yet. What if I have a miscarriage? Or something bad happens."

"Don't have thoughts like that," Hannah said as her fingers played along her stomach. "Think little girl. Wouldn't a little girl, be lovely?"

"Yeah, that would be nice." Nancy leaned back and closed her eyes. She felt warm now. Relaxed. No longer a threat to be attacked in her own home.

She could sense Hannah finding her way down her body, to its core. Her heartbeat raced. A part of herself felt unleashed now. No longer afraid, and it was all Hannah's breaking the shackles of her old life with Jake.

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