And I know I won't admit it
And I don't want to say it
But I still look for you in the park
On my way home each day
And no, I won't admit it
Not even to my friends
They think I'm doing well
And I even lie to myself
Josh didn't want to go. He felt sure of one thing. He wanted to be here with Freddie. And he sensed it from Freddie too, that he wanted him in his room. But one thing had changed Spike was home.
"Not a moment too soon." Freddie sighed with relief. At least they had been alone long enough, and yet Josh was sure he wanted more. When he closed his eyes he felt Freddie's heartbeat still with him.
"You're sure, you're OK." Freddie still looked at him as he might break.
"I'm fine." He kissed Freddie who put his arms around him.
"I wish you could stay, but I'm not ready for Spike to know," Freddie breathed into his ear.
"He's not going to know." Josh whispered, feeling Freddie's fingers on his chest, but he reached for his clothes.
Freddie kissed him one more time. "How did you get in, anyway?" He then asked.
Josh pulled up his jeans and lifted the t-shirt over his head. He then pointed to the window.
"You're freak'n me here, you honestly came in through window." Freddie sighed.
Josh nodded. "Leave it open. I'll be back."
Just about then Freddie heard a knock on his bedroom door. Freddie tried to stop smiling. Josh hurried out the window.
"Yeah." Freddie said staring at the window and trying his best to pull the sheets up to make the bed.
"You don't have anyone in there, do you?" Spike said behind the door.
Freddie opened the door, "Just me."
"Nate called," Spike said. "Wants me come down to the black cat for a drink. Wanta come?"
"N0, you cheer him up for me." Freddie nodded. "I think I gotta clean up in here, ya know."
"Its a rather ripe pig sty if I might say so myself." Spike nodded.
"Yeah, give me time to think." Freddie shrugged.
"You think? Don't hurt yourself now." Spike walked away. Freddie closed the door and reached for his cell, but he didn't have to text. Josh was waiting just outside the window.